We have come to this moment, through struggle, hardship and perseverance. Modern culture sees awakenings through the fog of fairy tales. A princess lies sleeping, a curse lifted by true love’s kiss. The battle hardened love struck prince kneels by her side, freeing them both when he gently lifts her into his arms and softly kisses her lips. There is no mention of the truth behind these metaphors, the truth in awakenings. Awakenings occur in stages, each one must be greeted, accepted and built upon for the next to occur. And, so, it is…
The first; a winter day by the sea, grey seas, grey skies, snow, salt kisses from the gods. Who, out of love, offer blessings that cannot be claimed without hardships. And this child will face many before the blessings unfold, for I must be worthy.
The second; hiding under the porch with the spiders and broken glass listening, in fear, while rage determined the course of her life, helpless and knowing all at once. What if the other had won? It is best I do not dwell on these things.
The third; the birth of her shadow, the small sweet boy who would follow her blind and trusting through childhood. The boy who would become a warrior under her watchful eye. The reason for life, before other reasons were born.
The fourth; broken, bruised, bleeding, heart and soul torn asunder, for in that moment the world had ended. It that moment, I began again.
The fifth; the way a demon’s kiss, darkness in love, possession kept her safe. The way possession destroyed the last bit of her heart. And, in doing so, reawakened my warrior’s soul and a deeper wisdom within.
There have been many such awakenings, if I choose to remember, each builds upon the last, each broken heart, each spirit soaring moment, each moment someone new sees the wings upon my back, sees who/what I am. These moments wash away the moments of doubt, the moments I fell to earth, believing I would never again soar, never again feel the love and blessings of my gods… Through despair, through love, through perseverance, I am the light once again.
Another Awakening comes, though – as with all things – the timing belongs to the gods alone. It will come on the day I stand in the gap between worlds, in the darkness, in the void, the light of wings surrounding me. In that moment, the battle in the darkness, another light will join me, another star will shine and my solitary battle will end.
For you, who are not yet the Beloved:
I wish for you a softer awakening than those I have borne. I wish Freya comes to you, kisses your brow and opens your heart wide once again, softening those long hardened walls. I wish for Thor to awaken your warrior, remind you of the strength and passion you once carried. I wish for Tyr to show you the splendor of loyalty and growth that comes with serving and loving One. I with for Loki’s laughter to lighten the burdens of your heart and free you from the darkness that holds you. I wish for Odin to grace you with the wisdom that only comes with perseverance and acceptance of the past. I wish for your warrior soul to see the shield maiden who awaits you.
So mote it be.